svn commit: r40807 - head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs
Warren Block
wblock at wonkity.com
Thu Jan 31 04:24:59 UTC 2013
On Wed, 30 Jan 2013, Benjamin Kaduk wrote:
>> + <p>No matter what the application, you want your system's
>> + resources performing at their full potential. &os;'s focus
>> + on performance, networking, and storage, combined with easy
>> + system administration and excellent documentation to allow
>
> "easy system administration" feels like it lacks proper parallelism here;
> "its ease of system administration" is probably better.
The "its" is not necessary. And "combined" is wrong for "to allow".
Incidentally, I personally dislike the "you want" at the start of this
paragraph. Docs or people are free to advise me, but should not be
telling me what I want. Since I am not feeling smart enough to avoid
this, what the heck:
<p>No matter what the application, an operating system should take
advantage of every resource available. &os;'s focus on performance,
networking, and storage combines with ease of system administration and
comprehensive documentation to realize the full potential of any
computer.</p>
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