Webserver

[Snoopy]

Hello,
I want to build a Freebsd based webserver and all the stuff works  
quiet well, I got ruby on rails installed (ports/www/rubygem-rails)  
and I'm able to start webrick (the integrated webserver) also I   
installed the hole mysql package (server, client , scripts all 5.0).

But I still have some problems !
First I do not know how to configure the Ftp server. I disabled  
anonymous login (during the setup)and I killed the '#' in the  
inetd.conf in the line for ftp (ftp   stream  tcp   nowait root /usr/ 
libexec/ftpd ftpd -l) and saved this file ! Now I want to login with a  
normal account (also user account) via ftp and it does not work!  
please help ! Also there is no open port!

The other problem is about MYSQL
It works for me (mysql version 5). But I can not connect as remote  
from an other computer ! I enabled it in the rc.conf and the mysql  
ports seems to be open ! (did a port scan from the remote). But I can  
not access the database as remote. Also I created a new user in mysql  
(user with all privileges) i can not connect to the server as remote,  
neither with the root nor with my new account (but the new account  
works from the inside as well).
I had been told to change a file called my.conf but I do not find this  
file ! Can you pleasetell me where my mysql configuration is saved !  
thx for help !

Regrades Snoopy

PS: I'm sorry for my english and the bad kind of description I gave  
you, but I'm a total newbe to Freebsd !