docs/114337: minor grammar nits to handbook/x11 chapter
Ben Kaduk
minimarmot at gmail.com
Thu Jul 5 18:50:02 UTC 2007
>Number: 114337
>Category: docs
>Synopsis: minor grammar nits to handbook/x11 chapter
>Confidential: no
>Severity: non-critical
>Priority: low
>Responsible: freebsd-doc
>State: open
>Quarter:
>Keywords:
>Date-Required:
>Class: doc-bug
>Submitter-Id: current-users
>Arrival-Date: Thu Jul 05 18:50:01 GMT 2007
>Closed-Date:
>Last-Modified:
>Originator: Ben Kaduk
>Release: 7-CURRENT
>Organization:
>Environment:
System: FreeBSD prolepsis.scs.uiuc.edu 7.0-CURRENT FreeBSD 7.0-CURRENT #1: Sun Apr 1 16:59:00 UTC 2007 kaduk at prolepsis.scs.uiuc.edu:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/GENERIC i386
>Description:
I attach a patch with a number of small changes, which I detail here
o the first change is an attempt to make the sentence relating X11, XOrg and XFree86 more parse-able. This is difficult for me, because I'm not entirely sure what the relationships are, myself. X.org claims (http://www.x.org/wiki/) that ``The X.Org Foundation provides an open source implementation of the X Window System''; presumably XFree86 does as well. This change reverses the inclusion so that the two softwares include the X11 protocol, not the other way around (which doesn't make much sense)
o XDM controlled-->XDM-controlled: more hyphenation issues that I'm not 100% certain about; Marc Fonvieille is (hopefully) looking into this some more (controlled is a past participle here, right?)
o the login-->login: either ``the chooser screen'' and ``the login screen'', or ``the chooser and login screens''.
o edit-->you must edit: the text is telling the user what to do
o [Xaccess]: a bit of style change (show the relation between two sentences), and close off the sentence with why users may wish to consult more documentation.
o [add commas to list]
o represents-->is: Konqueror is a browser, not a picture of one
o FreeBSD-KDE-->FreeBSD KDE: style (?) I'm not sure what a hyphen adds here, and I couldn't find this term on the referenced webpage
o etc. is an abbreviation
o other things-->more: ``other things'' just feels like the wrong tone for this piece, to me
>How-To-Repeat:
http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/x11.html
and the rest of the chapter
>Fix:
patch attached
Patch attached with submission follows:
--- chapter.sgml.orig 2007-07-03 18:27:06.000000000 -0500
+++ chapter.sgml 2007-07-05 12:59:42.000000000 -0500
@@ -26,9 +26,10 @@
<para>FreeBSD uses X11 to provide users with
a powerful graphical user interface. X11
- is an open-source implementation of the X Window System that
- includes both <application>&xorg;</application> and
- <application>&xfree86;</application>. &os; versions up to and
+ is a freely available version of the X Window System that
+ is implemented in both <application>&xorg;</application> and
+ <application>&xfree86;</application> (and other software
+ packages not discussed here). &os; versions up to and
including &os; 5.2.1-RELEASE
will find the default installation to be
<application>&xfree86;</application>, the X11 server released by
@@ -1144,7 +1145,7 @@
<title>Xaccess</title>
<para>The protocol for connecting to
- <application>XDM</application> controlled displays is called
+ <application>XDM</application>-controlled displays is called
the X Display Manager Connection Protocol (XDMCP). This file
is a ruleset for controlling XDMCP connections from remote
machines. It is ignored unless the <filename>xdm-config</filename>
@@ -1155,7 +1156,7 @@
<sect3>
<title>Xresources</title>
<para>This is an application-defaults file for the display
- chooser and the login screens. This is where the appearance
+ chooser and login screens. In it, the appearance
of the login program can be modified. The format is identical
to the app-defaults file described in the
X11 documentation.</para>
@@ -1210,7 +1211,7 @@
<title>Running a Network Display Server</title>
<para>In order for other clients to connect to the display
- server, edit the access control rules, and enable the connection
+ server, you must edit the access control rules and enable the connection
listener. By default these are set to conservative values.
To make <application>XDM</application> listen for connections,
first comment out a line in the <filename>xdm-config</filename>
@@ -1223,9 +1224,9 @@
<para>and then restart <application>XDM</application>. Remember that
comments in app-defaults files begin with a <quote>!</quote>
character, not the usual <quote>#</quote>. More strict
- access controls may be desired. Look at the example
+ access controls may be desired — look at the example
entries in <filename>Xaccess</filename>, and refer to the
- &man.xdm.1; manual page.</para>
+ &man.xdm.1; manual page for further information.</para>
</sect2>
<sect2>
@@ -1428,7 +1429,7 @@
</listitem>
<listitem>
- <para>Centralized consisted dialog driven desktop
+ <para>Centralized, consistent, dialog-driven desktop
configuration</para>
</listitem>
@@ -1439,13 +1440,13 @@
</itemizedlist>
<para><application>KDE</application> comes with a web browser called
- <application>Konqueror</application>, which represents
+ <application>Konqueror</application>, which is
a solid competitor to other existing web browsers on &unix;
systems. More information on <application>KDE</application>
can be found on the <ulink url="http://www.kde.org/">KDE
website</ulink>. For FreeBSD specific information and
resources on <application>KDE</application>, consult
- the <ulink url="http://freebsd.kde.org/">FreeBSD-KDE
+ the <ulink url="http://freebsd.kde.org/">FreeBSD KDE
team</ulink>'s website.</para>
</sect3>
@@ -1554,7 +1555,7 @@
<listitem>
<para>Fully configurable via mouse, with drag and
- drop, etc </para>
+ drop, etc. </para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
@@ -1564,8 +1565,7 @@
<listitem>
<para>Integrated window manager, file manager, sound manager,
- <application>GNOME</application> compliance module, and other
- things</para>
+ <application>GNOME</application> compliance module, and more</para>
</listitem>
<listitem>
>Release-Note:
>Audit-Trail:
>Unformatted:
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