MariaDB startup issue

I upgraded a server from FreeBSD 13.2-RELEASE to FreeBSD 14.0-RELEASE

During pkg upgrade it removed mariadb 10.4. I installed mariadb 10.6
no biggie. Except I seem to be in a chicken and egg paradox. When I
start the message is:

Please merge existing /usr/local/etc/my.cnf file with
/usr/local/etc/mysql/conf.d/server.cnf

OK I did that. I renamed the file to /usr/local/etc/my.cnf.x

service mysql-server start says it's starting but actually never
starts the server. no error in the logs I can find. I'm obviously
missing something?

If I use the same command the rc script is executing (WITHOUT
'/usr/sbin/daemon' that the rc script uses) I see the error finally!

/usr/local/bin/mariadbd-safe
--defaults-extra-file=/usr/local/etc/my.cnf --user=mysql
--datadir=/var/db/mysql --pid-file=/var/db/mysql/mysql.pid
Could not open required defaults file: /usr/local/etc/my.cnf
Fatal error in defaults handling. Program aborted

OK so i made a blank /usr/local/etc/my.cnf and get this message:

Please merge existing /usr/local/etc/my.cnf file with
/usr/local/etc/mysql/conf.d/server.cnf

So it's a loop. I guess I need to edit the rc script but i think i am
missing something? Any ideas?

TIA and HH

-- 
Waitman Gobble
\\